Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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