M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
