We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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