do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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