I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize