Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Acid is not a monday night drug
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
