Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
