Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
