under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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