i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
