the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
