Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
