Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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