Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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