dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
