Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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