we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
