I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
