using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
