Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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