Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
