Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
