btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
