Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
