Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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