Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
