just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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