Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize