They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
