p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
