It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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