Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
