hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
