Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize