I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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