Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
