your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
