awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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