if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
