I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
