Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Randomize
