Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
