there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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