i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
