Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
