Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
my liver is dry heaving
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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