Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
