You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
