Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
