She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
