sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Apparently you make a good broom.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
