Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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