I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize