Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
