and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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