I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
