Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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