I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
