Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
